When Feeling Connected Isn’t the Same as Being Connected

I met up with some friends for lunch yesterday and it was so lovely… and also so thought-provoking and jarring at the same time.

Let me explain.

After some reflection over the past few weeks, the word I have chosen for this year is connection. It’s a word that encompasses many things for me, and a theme I want to consciously weave into 2026.

This year marks five years since I left my career and moved from the city to a small village in the countryside. I was looking for change, space, a healthier way of living, and a different way of working.

And yes, I got all of that and more. A great big tick.

However, what I’ve also realised is that, over time, I was becoming more and more disconnected from seeing people… actual, in-person contact. Meet-ups. Coffee. Casual chats.

Moving to a new place in my 40s was so much harder than I ever anticipated. Add into the mix starting my own solo business, and not having children to help with the friendship-making, and it’s pretty sobering to admit that I’ve made very few local friends. And it’s quite lonely.

But how did this creep up on me so gradually that it’s only now, five years later, that I’m really feeling it?

I realised that social media has been playing a major role in filling the gaping void of connection in my life.

I felt connected. I saw the holiday pictures of friends, commented on stories, liked the posts of fellow practitioners I knew. I was up to date… so I wasn’t reaching out as much in other ways, picking up the phone for a chat, checking in, or making dates to actually meet. And forget putting myself out there to make new local friends…

But the thing is, this sense of connection I was getting through social media was largely false. Yes, it gave me a short-term feeling of connection, but without the depth of a proper catch-up.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming social media here. I’ve made some fantastic connections over the years online, many of which have turned into very real friendships. In fact, one thing I truly love is connecting with people from all around the world and the richness that brings.

What I’m really talking about is becoming aware of my own connection void, and the element of false connection that checking in via social media can quietly create in my life.

So, this year, I’m committed to catching those false moments and consciously replacing them with real ones.

I’ll be making sure I’m not getting my hit of connection purely through viewing photos. Instead, I’ll be reaching out, checking in, having actual conversations and meet-ups. I’ll be leaning into the part of me that feels her toes curling and shoulders hunching at the thought of making new friends, the voice that whispers, “What if they don’t like me?”

And I’ll be doing the same in my business… I’m putting it all here for accountability.

More regular group gatherings, both in-person and online.
More collaboration with the wonderful community of practitioners I’ve been fortunate enough to meet, locally and online.
And more reaching out to those I admire from afar.

How does this resonate with you?
Can you recognise that feeling of false connection in your own life?
Or do you have a word for this year that’s guiding you?